Dan: "Welcome to the 1st annual wreck.motorcycles crashing competition, in Heber City, Utah. I'm Dan Canfield your host, and with me today is Bob Palin, guest commentator for this event. Thanks for coming out, Bob."
Bob: "Sure thing Dan, pleasure to be here on this fine Sunday morning."
Dan: "We've got 12 competitors here today, so the action ought to be pretty exciting. First up is Chris Steinbroner from Cupertino, California. Can you tell us something about Hesh, Bob?"
Bob: "You bet, Dan. Hesh has been riding for around 5 years now, and has been crashing competitively for two of those years. He made a spectacular entry into the field with the classic Head-On-With-Another-Motorcycle crash. He could've won awards with that one, but he lost a few points for a minor technicality: he forgot to hit the kill switch. With his background, we ought to see some great crashing today."
Dan: "Hesh will be riding our very own Bob Palin's Aspencade. Bob, how did you and Hesh come to this arrangement?"
Bob: "Well, Hesh was particularly impressed with my near famous Alaska crash, so he thought he'd get an edge with a proven mount."
Dan: "Hesh is going to begin the day with a One-Half-Turn-with-Full-Twist."
Bob: "Normally this crash is a 1.8, but the degree of difficulty has been raised to 2.2 because Hesh is unfamiliar with this bike."
Dan: "It looks like he's about ready to go... just a few last-minute checks with his backup mount. Yes, he's ready to go now. He's beginning his approach with a right hander...
I notice his kickstand is down. Any comment, Bob?"
Bob: "You bet, Dan. He's not so confident on this bike, so to insure a good crash, he's gone to the added precaution of leaving the sidestand down."
Dan: "Okay, he's accelerating... 2nd gear... 3rd gear... and now he's beginning the left hand sweeper. The sidestand touches. The bike is fishtailing, but he recovers. He's straightening it and braking... I notice a bit of smoke there, Bob."
Bob: "Whoops. He's sure to lose a few tenths of a point for locking up the rear brake there, Dan. Integrated braking can get tricky though, so let's wait and see."
Dan: "Okay, he's at the edge of the pavement and leaning it hard left to stay out of the dirt. The kickstand hits again, and he's out of control and into the dirt. Looks like a lowside coming.... No, wait! The kickstand catches again, and he's catapulted over the bike! There's that one-half turn... now for the full twist.... There's lots of dust... Ohhh, spectacular! I see two wheels in the air, Bob!"
Bob: "Yow! We're going to see pretty high scores today, folks."
Dan: "Eeeeyouch! Looks like the Aspencade just rolled over him, Bob."
Bob: "And at 850 lbs. dry, that is sure to be a bit of a bruiser. We are definitely getting our money's worth on this crash today, folks."
Dan: "You bet, Bob. I don't see a single intact piece of plastic left on your Aspencade. He really nailed this one good!"
Bob: "Whoops. I see a few problems with his followup, Dan. Once again, he's forgotten to hit the kill switch. It's these minor points that can cost sometimes. And Led Zeppelin isn't playing on the tape deck. Looks like he forgot to turn it back on when he started out."
Dan: "Let's break to a commercial now; Bob and I will be back in a moment with the judge's scores."